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Oh, to be a Kid Again!

As a kid I didn’t talk to the fan to hear my robotic voice. But I’d look forward to Christmas and other people’s birthdays. These days, birthdays are a constant reminder that evil exists in this world and that we are born to die. Time is running out for the adult and there’s very little to show for it. The kids are here to replace us. The old man lying down can’t see shit anymore, he has glaucoma. We were flying kites as kids, well, not really, but something close. I grew up in some semi-urban village setup, yeah. Kids these days are flying drones with smartphones. I say maybe just maybe, nostalgia aside, my childhood wasn’t as great.

Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did except you.

Sleep. The thing I miss most about childhood is sleeping, especially in the middle of the day. Now I can’t even sleep properly without problems interrupting. My best childhood memory was falling asleep outside and waking up in bed thinking…”Wow, I can teleport.” My dad was, at some point, a certified nurse. I think bed time is the reason some parents drink. I used to think I was a patient person, but I see kids get out of bed for the eleventh time within an hour.

Thankful. I’m thankful that my childhood was filled with bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you can get on a picture, or views on your Tik Tok. I imagine myself as a kid trying to make TikTok videos to fit in, borderline disgusting. In this day and age, I’d have been a hermit kid. My all-time favorite childhood memory is not paying bills. I went shopping the other day, got to the counter, turned around and started putting stuff back in the shelf. How our parents kept us well fed is still a mystery!

Injuries. I envy kids for their carefree life and blissful ignorance. I was used to childhood injuries like; Fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle, or scraped my toe playing. Adult injuries usually come if you; Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard, or got up suddenly. It’s embarrassing being an adult. As a kid, you’ll get an injury and still get a spanking from your parents. Talk about adding insult to injury. It’s at this point you start threatening to run away and never come back home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. You’re not raised right if you didn’t attempt to run away at least once.

Growing up is a scam. Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands. You just know they weren’t raised right. I miss the days when bags were heavy, not hearts. Pencils were broken, not promises. Tears were fake, not smiles. Friends made us laugh, not F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back on your childhood everything is different?

Friendships. Childhood friendship is the most beautiful memory that can never be replaced. Shits all over adult friendships that are hectic and demanding. It’s either they’re constantly guilt tripping you, trying to obtain a favor or both. Nothing feels real. As a kid your parents were your closest friends and confidant. If you’re shocked reading that line, you’re probably adopted. In truth you had to wait for a window when they’re in a good mood to ask for something you want. I don’t think I’ll ever be in the mood when my parenting days come. I’m not buying roadside junk food, there’s rice at home. It always shocks me when I hear people say that life is about Ups and Downs.

Really, you guys are having Ups?

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