Updated: Aug 4, 2022
“Food gives you energy”
Must be energy to sleep because why else would I be feeling sleepy after having breakfast? Ever get so excited about food that you start to worry it might not taste as great as you imagined? Yeah, me too. I think with food, all the magic happens in your head. The actual process of eating is very stressful. Opening your mouth at five-second intervals to chuck in large amounts of food that will ultimately bring you death is unsightly. If you catch your reflection in a mirror as you eat, you’ll lose your appetite.
For a long time, I thought the best part about being a husband is watching your wife cook. You know why? So you get to decide whether you’ll eat before eating, eat after eating or just go straight to eating. I’d love to eat before I eat or eat while I’m eating. Is that too much to ask, ladies? Anyways, I moved on.
Now I only need three things in life. Food, Wi-Fi and Sleep. In that order. If I share my food with you, it’s either because I love you a lot or because it fell on the floor and I don’t want it. Indeed, fire food spots and music is my love language. Like for real. Nothing brings people together like good food.
Food always tastes way better when someone else is cooking
Good food, good mood. Girls who love food and boys who constantly ask if you’ve eaten yet absolutely deserve each other. Yeah, maybe. The main reason we choose a particular food is because we like the way it tastes. Taste preferences are present when we are born. Even babies show a fondness for sweetness and fats. This morning, I heard a friend UNcomfortably narrate her ordeal with some strange fruit, some fly dragon fruit, and decided to try this super glorified fruit after waiting forever. Actually, I bumped into it in some fancy uptown joints, and I had no otherwise. Fam, strawberries taste nothing like their look!!! I blame Instagram and its occupants for spreading lies and propaganda about how they taste. Super awful fruit. Guavas are better.
Cooking is hard work
The biggest scam is cooking for TWO hours just to eat for ten minutes. It usually takes hours to cook a meal. Then there’s cleaning afterwards. And if you want to be fancy, you have to ensure you have time to do some early prep work and marinating. Sounds like a pointless exercise to me.
Doing the dishes
People who don’t wash their own dishes upset me. No, they don’t. I’ve watched people search for ten minutes for something to put their food in to avoid dishes. Well, I have seen myself do that. I am definitely not a roommate material. You might know some of the reasons we crave certain foods, but most of our food decisions come from hidden forces. You should eat cake everyday. Because it’s always somebody’s birthday somewhere. Well, talking of birthday food, I have enjoyed a good number this year, apart from one, which almost killed me. Me, myself and I have, therefore, decided to take a break, a brief one though, from consuming anything that looks, acts, and tastes like a carcass.
I have this question though; why is there light in the fridge, if we’re not meant to have midnight smacks and snacks?
I see food and I eat it. Always
Till next time, fam. Stay safe, the Indian variant is here!!!